Wake up, Borah. ‘Tis the season to dress for winter

Ari Anchustegui
January 5, 2012
Filed under Opinion

There comes a season to be jolly, and so comes a season to be layered. Oh yeah, they’re the same season! Weird!  Ever see anyone around Borah looking pleasantly bundled up? Of course not, because we Lions have this terrible disease in which we dwell on summer, and attire that’s meant to be worn in ninety degree weather. Let me be the first to enlighten you, fellow students, to the changing of seasons.

Look around you, if you don’t believe me. It is suddenly very cold and very wet. May I introduce you to the concept of winter. This happens every year, people! But do you see our school looking chic and cozy and snug? No. You see bedraggled, baggy sweatshirts, new-season wardrobes completely obliterated by old moldy cardigans, and kids moaning about how wet their feet get when they wear sandals in the rain.

It is possible to look glorious in winter! I promise. Here are some tips to keep all you Lions (guys, too) looking warm and wonderful.

Simple is the new black. Don’t get me wrong, layers are lovely! But it is possible to overdo it; add volume to your attire by throwing on a cardigan and a jacket. Not five cardigans and a parka.

Just because it’s winter does not, I repeat, does not mean you have to wear black, brown and gray every day. Light, soft colors will do just fine. Stray far, far away from colors that glow in the dark.

Patterns don’t go together, that’s common sense. Basics do! Add on to your pattern with basic colored cardigans and scarves.

COATS, PLEASE. Goose bumps aren’t in style; they never have been. Pea coats, leather jackets, and such are all acceptable. Never, ever, ever wear a pea coat with shorts–that’s just counterproductive.

Okay, tights. There ARE limits to these ladies, and you must follow them! First and foremost, they are in no way pants, neither are leggings, ever. Second, do us all a favor and don’t wear them with destroyed booty shorts; it’s gross. And if your tights are ripped may they rest in peace, don’t try to bring them back to life; LET THEM GO. Certain pattern tights are alright, others are questionable. If they resemble fishnets, they’re not in any way OK. Tights will look great when worn correctly with dresses and skirts, or even classy high waisted shorts.

You should never be shaking in your boots; the point of them is to keep you warm. Don’t wear them without tights, leggings, or pants. It’s highly contradictory and it looks wrong. You can add on to high boots with even higher socks or legwarmers. Oh and UGGs aren’t boots. They’re UGGly.

Alrighty boys, we know that your mop head keeps you warm, but quite frankly it looks uncleanly. Snip off the locks and warm up your head with hoodies under light jackets.

Athletic wear is useless outside of the gym, and you are bound to freeze! This includes: basketball shorts, track shorts, spankies or “skankies,” and soffes. Studies have shown that those who wear sweats or athletic wear to class are most likely to fall behind, or asleep. Dress for success people!

Leather, or basic gloves are perfect for those frozen fingers. Do away with your fifth grade multicolored striped mittens.

To all of those ladies that think it’s cute to wear low cut shirts down to your belly buttons, it’s not. Those things should be cold, and nobody wants to see that… If you can’t help yourself, please resort to a scarf.  There are many different ways to accessorize them. And tons of different types abound, so pick the one that’s right for you.